The 3 Things…About Hands


My hands have been KILLING me lately, and it’s hard to explain to people, so here are the 3 things about my hands

1. It’s difficult to not look like a big wuss.

When my wife hands me a jar, I have to defer to my 10 year old daughter. When I shake someone’s hand, I cry like a Belieber meeting their idol for the first time. Because, you know, it’s cool to be “the guy that survived a heart attack but don’t touch his hand or he’ll cry.”

Crying

“No, I’m really pleased to meet you……really.” 

2. I never realized how much opposable thumbs are used in the real world.

My thumbs are actually the crux of my issues, and I’ll be Chris Brown’s new punching bag if I didn’t realize how often the muscles of the thumbs are used. Opening a door? Check. Eating? Check. Blowing up “marital aids”? Double check. But that hurts so good.

3.  Nobody believes the only thing that doesn’t make them hurt.

I’m a slacker stay at home dad, so when I tell people that the only thing that I do that doesn’t make my hands hurt is play my Xbox, I generally recieve the same kind of look as if I told someone I had proof that Hoffa killed Kennedy on orders from Captain Kirk. It’s true, however. I don’t know if Microsoft had “ergonomic engineers” look at the controllers, but they work. Sucks for me, but I love me some Xbox even more now….

Remote

Somewhere, people refer to these as “hand pillows” 

About sooperjeenyus

Recent heart attack survivor at the age of 32, forced into role of Stay at Home Dad. Stumbling my way through it... View all posts by sooperjeenyus

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