FFS Friday!

FFS is my new favorite acronym. The first word is For and the last word is Sake. You can figure out the rest. 

Today, I had a FFS moment.

I got to meet our neighbor, Justin, FINALLY!

He and his wife are out tending their yards FAITHFULLY every Saturday, and more if need be. Their yards look amazing.

He came over to tell me his wife collected a “can full” of rocks, and a bottle of Visine from their backyard. He said, understandably, that they “work their asses off” keeping their yards nice, and he would like me to please ask my kids to stop. He was “sorry to meet me under these circumstances” and didn’t want to be “that dick neighbor”, and politely asked me to tell my kids to knock it the fuck off.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Won’t happen again, sir. Goodbye, sir, nice to finally meet you.

**shuts front door**

“WHAT IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH ARE YOU LITTLE CRETINS DOING THROWING ROCKS OVER THE WALL!?! BRODY, GET YOUR ASS INSIDE (he was outside) AND GET DRESSED! DO NOT GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT CLOTHES ON, THIS ISN’T A DAMN NUDIST COLONY. AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS GET VISINE FROM WHEREVER IT WAS PUT UP AWAY FROM YOU, AND THEN PROCEED TO THROW IT OVER THE DAMN WALL. FFS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?”

And, of course, working man Mr. Justin comes over when I’m into full on day 2.5 of slobiness, my look from the HauteHobo collection…..

Slob

“Kids! Answer the door! It’s probably those damn HOA fuckers again. Tell them to get bent.”

Ugh. Making friends in Gilbert! Gotta love it. Happy Friday all!

 

About sooperjeenyus

Recent heart attack survivor at the age of 32, forced into role of Stay at Home Dad. Stumbling my way through it... View all posts by sooperjeenyus

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